Posting Nudes
I am apprehensive posting this. At first I thought this would avoid discussing this sort of thing here. A part of me wants for this space to be another curated version of myself. Something that doesn't excite anybody to much, but also relatable in a sense. Maybe related is the word I am not looking for... more palatable. But I am BORED and tired of that man. What is the point? I am craving connection or at least authenticity so might as well. I'm just going to post whats on my mind without restriction. What is the worst that can happen? I mean A LOT probably can happen, but I have come to realize that's probably all part of the game. The people who are willing to take a chance and or experience such unpleasant experiences at least have a chance to experience something good. Also hello it's been awhile since I tried to curate this website to curb social media. The way trends like this have a grip on me. The way reality is able to ground you from your creative ideas and thoughts with an instance. I think this site will be the beginning or an attempt at least to put idea to paper. This may not be what I want to show the world per se, but I want to at least start learning how to. Maybe this is how I get started on that venture? ANYWAYS
I have always thought about posting myself nude on the internet. It seems like such a nice way to engage in sexuality, but have a sort of protective mechanism in place. Being a Black Man too I have come to realize when people approach me sexually usually it isn't because I interest them as a person. It is more because I align with a version of Blackness they want to consume in a sexual manner. It's interesting because it seems so easy to fall into line and align with that version of Blackness wants to consume. It brings what seems to be a multitude of benefits, but it seems so boring. I also can be projecting, but we really do live in a racial society.
Anyways the idea of posting nudes was being able to fantasize being sexually desired in a way that doesn't feel rooted in race. It's more of a feeling of genuine desire. But after years of being a consumer and or victim of Porn I realized the internet is a wild and crazy place. What you intended to be viewed as a certain way can be stolen right underneath you to be perceived in a way a collection wants to view it. It does not matter your original intentions. Maybe that the tricky part of it all ? I dunno I think I'll keep doing that despite wanting to. There is something gratifying being complimented regardless of its intentions. But I want to navigate life a way where I am able to pick up on this sort of thing or at least try to.
That was more about this space I guess, but the original idea came from wanting to post nudes.