Posting Nudes

I am apprehensive posting this. At first I thought this would avoid discussing this sort of thing here. A part of me wants for this space to be another curated version of myself. Something that doesn't excite anybody to much, but also relatable in a sense. Maybe related is the word I am not looking for... more palatable. But I am BORED and tired of that man. What is the point? I am craving connection or at least authenticity so might as well. I'm just going to post whats on my mind without restriction. What is the worst that can happen? I mean A LOT probably can happen, but I have come to realize that's probably all part of the game. The people who are willing to take a chance and or experience such unpleasant experiences at least have a chance to experience something good. Also hello it's been awhile since I tried to curate this website to curb social media. The way trends like this have a grip on me. The way reality is able to ground you from your creative ideas and thoughts with an instance. I think this site will be the beginning or an attempt at least to put idea to paper. This may not be what I want to show the world per se, but I want to at least start learning how to. Maybe this is how I get started on that venture? ANYWAYS

I have always thought about posting myself nude on the internet. It seems like such a nice way to engage in sexuality, but have a sort of protective mechanism in place. Being a Black Man too I have come to realize when people approach me sexually usually it isn't because I interest them as a person. It is more because I align with a version of Blackness they want to consume in a sexual manner. It's interesting because it seems so easy to fall into line and align with that version of Blackness wants to consume. It brings what seems to be a multitude of benefits, but it seems so boring. I also can be projecting, but we really do live in a racial society.

Anyways the idea of posting nudes was being able to fantasize being sexually desired in a way that doesn't feel rooted in race. It's more of a feeling of genuine desire. But after years of being a consumer and or victim of Porn I realized the internet is a wild and crazy place. What you intended to be viewed as a certain way can be stolen right underneath you to be perceived in a way a collection wants to view it. It does not matter your original intentions. Maybe that the tricky part of it all ? I dunno I think I'll keep doing that despite wanting to. There is something gratifying being complimented regardless of its intentions. But I want to navigate life a way where I am able to pick up on this sort of thing or at least try to.

That was more about this space I guess, but the original idea came from wanting to post nudes.

Subscribe to Knock Out

Don’t miss out on the latest issues. Sign up now to get access to the library of members-only issues.
jamie@example.com
Subscribe